Insight + Action = Results
I've been breaking my commitment to myself to be transparent during the process of building my coaching practice. But as I've learned in the past months, though commitment is often viewed as a single event in time, it's often more useful to think of commitment as a series of recommitments.
So I recommit to sharing my experiences. :)
The recent months have been hard for me. My teachers, teammates and coach have me considering that view -- that life is hard -- as a choice, and indeed I see that there are different choices available, yet making a different choice is far from easy. My intention in sharing is to have you know that when you hit this point in whatever it is you are doing, there is nothing right or wrong about it. It's merely an experience.
Since I began coaching in July 2010, I have coached 15 clients privately, and more as a part of my training program. Not bad, huh?
I have passed through the different stages of building a business -- I've found pro bono clients, reduced-rate/partial-pay clients, and I've secured full pay clients. Each stage was difficult for me and pushed me out of my comfort zone. But I did it. I worked through my discomfort and got the result I wanted.
And now I sit at another point of discomfort, way outside my comfort zone. I just want to work with more people -- my sincerest dream is that they will fall from the sky into my lap -- but this is not how it's going to go for me. Not because it's impossible or unrealistic as a concept, but because it's impossible and unrealistic for me at this moment.
What do I mean?
I'm tired. I'm discouraged. I'm down.
And I'm just doing all of the things I would normally do when in this state -- I'm beating myself up ("you're such a loser, who's going to hire you?"), I'm sensitive to complaining and negativity ("holy crap, do people ever stop complaining!?") and I want to isolate myself ("I don't want anyone to see me like this -- what kind of coach would I be if I showed people my stuff?")
In this state of mind and being, it is literally impossible for me to have clients fall into my lap. I simply won't allow it. In this act of writing and sharing my feelings, I believe that it will push people away from me. So it will. Now, at this moment.
But that doesn't mean that there is anything wrong or bad or valueless about me writing this.
It's just an experience. And perhaps it's the experience that you need to read to propel you forward in your life.
At a later time, (maybe even 5 seconds after I complete this article), it will be realistic for me to have clients fall from the sky, because my state of being will allow it to be possible.
Or perhaps it will inspire you to contact me and hire me as your coach...
And what is the difference between me having this run through my head and not express it versus write it on a blog for others to see?
Writing is an action that I'm taking. An action to shift myself from being an isolated, lonely, terrified person, to being a fully expressed, connected and loving man.
Insight + Action = Results.
So I recommit to sharing my experiences. :)
The recent months have been hard for me. My teachers, teammates and coach have me considering that view -- that life is hard -- as a choice, and indeed I see that there are different choices available, yet making a different choice is far from easy. My intention in sharing is to have you know that when you hit this point in whatever it is you are doing, there is nothing right or wrong about it. It's merely an experience.
Since I began coaching in July 2010, I have coached 15 clients privately, and more as a part of my training program. Not bad, huh?
I have passed through the different stages of building a business -- I've found pro bono clients, reduced-rate/partial-pay clients, and I've secured full pay clients. Each stage was difficult for me and pushed me out of my comfort zone. But I did it. I worked through my discomfort and got the result I wanted.
And now I sit at another point of discomfort, way outside my comfort zone. I just want to work with more people -- my sincerest dream is that they will fall from the sky into my lap -- but this is not how it's going to go for me. Not because it's impossible or unrealistic as a concept, but because it's impossible and unrealistic for me at this moment.
What do I mean?
I'm tired. I'm discouraged. I'm down.
And I'm just doing all of the things I would normally do when in this state -- I'm beating myself up ("you're such a loser, who's going to hire you?"), I'm sensitive to complaining and negativity ("holy crap, do people ever stop complaining!?") and I want to isolate myself ("I don't want anyone to see me like this -- what kind of coach would I be if I showed people my stuff?")
In this state of mind and being, it is literally impossible for me to have clients fall into my lap. I simply won't allow it. In this act of writing and sharing my feelings, I believe that it will push people away from me. So it will. Now, at this moment.
But that doesn't mean that there is anything wrong or bad or valueless about me writing this.
It's just an experience. And perhaps it's the experience that you need to read to propel you forward in your life.
At a later time, (maybe even 5 seconds after I complete this article), it will be realistic for me to have clients fall from the sky, because my state of being will allow it to be possible.
Or perhaps it will inspire you to contact me and hire me as your coach...
And what is the difference between me having this run through my head and not express it versus write it on a blog for others to see?
Writing is an action that I'm taking. An action to shift myself from being an isolated, lonely, terrified person, to being a fully expressed, connected and loving man.
Insight + Action = Results.
Guest Article: Can Staying Positive Stop Cancer?
Guest Article
I'm so pleased and honored to be able to share this article, written by Trevor Bradshaw,with you all. Trevor is a public health advocate dedicated to fighting cancer. He is a recent graduate of the University of Central Florida and an aspiring writer. For more articles and information about his work, feel free to email him at trevorsendeavors@gmail.com.
Can Staying Positive Stop Cancer?
Oftentimes one of the first things that a cancer patient might hear after diagnosis is “Just stay positive.” But could staying positive actually become medical advice someday soon? It’s possible. Scientists studying the new field of physchoneuroimmunology have been exploring the interactions between the nervous and immune systems of the body, including exactly what power positive thinking can have on fighting cancer.Although an exact link between positivity and increased survival rates has yet to be uncovered, recent studies have shown a cancer mortality rate 19% higher for pessimists than optimists. Optimists have even been shown to have an increased life expectancy in cancers that are thought to be based primarily on environmental factors such as lung cancer and peritoneal mesothelioma
It’s possible however that it’s not necessarily the power of positive thinking that accounts for the gap in life expectancy and mortality rates- it might be simply that too much of the wrong kind of negative thinking can be dangerous. New research has recently proven that there is a direct correlation between too much stress and tumor growth. In particular norepinephrine, a chemical that is released in heavy amounts during stressful situations, has come under scrutiny as it has been shown to increase cancerous tumor cell growth in mice and is thought to play a role in ovarian cancer in humans as well.
While we are still quite far away from doctor’s prescribing you to stay positive as a cancer drug, it should come as no surprise that doctors are more and more adamant that cancer patients attend support groups. Because support groups are an outlet for patients or survivors to discuss their emotions and reactions with others who have been through similar experiences they often decrease the dangerous levels of stress that come with cancer. Furthermore cancer support groups often help patients to forge long-lasting relationships in a like-minded community and can have a strong positive affect on a cancer patient or survivors’ outlook. In the end, while it’s clear we don’t know enough to say for sure that staying positive can actively help patients beat cancer maybe that old advice “Just stay positive” has something to it after all.
For more articles and information about Trevor's work, please email him at: trevorsendeavors@gmail.com.
Secrets to more Joy in Life. First, it ain't what you're doin' that's the problem!
Doing vs Being
In this series of articles we will explore some of the discoveries I've made in creating joy in my own life. You will learn some of the core concepts and tools that I have learned that keep me expanding my passion for life.
One of the secrets to finding joy in my life has come from the understanding that what you are DOING in life is not always the problem; often the problem is how you're BEING about it.
So what exactly do I mean by this? One day I came across a concept that I will never forget. Most people live life like:
DO HAVE BE
They believe that if they do a lot of activities, they will get a lot of things and they will be happy. Or they live life like:
HAVE DO BE
They believe the more stuff they have, the more than can do and therefore the more happy they will be. I learned a very that a very simple shift in the order of the verbs will lead to a better and more harmonious way to live:
BE DO HAVE
Be who we are or want to be, do the activities that support that being, we will naturally get what we want.
Doing
What do I mean by doing? Doing. Activity. Every day we are doing. We are in activity. We get up, eat, go to work, work, eat, work some more, eat some more, work some more, go exercise, go read, go traveling, go, go, go.
Many people are always going from one thing to the next to the next. And they think that by doing lots of things, they will accomplish lots of things, and therefore they will get LOTS of results.
Can you identify with that?
Being
What do I mean by being? Being. Simply, Who we ARE at any given moment. All of us have many states of being.
We can be child: "Oooh let's play!"
We can be Head: "I observe that you are unhappy."
We can be Heart: "I feel your pain... I can't help but cry."
How might this show up when facilitating a workshop or running a meeting?
Think of the authoritarian where she speaks from a sense of authority, from a view point of giver of information, as commander: "We're going outside right now. Get up, Go downstairs right now, wait for me, don't move until I get there."
Think of the facilitator where she speaks from a position of co-creation, of equality, of teamwork. "I'd really love to go outside now – what do you think? Would that work for you? Would you like to go together?"
Problems with a doing life
In both cases she has the same objective, and she does the same thing – she communicates her need to go outside – but her way of doing it is completely different because how she is BEING about it is completely different.
Here's the thing about just doing in life: often, what a person does is automatic. She feels tired, so she grabs a coffee. Someone calls her an idiot, so she gets mad. She makes a mistake while speaking in public and she starts justifying herself.
Does this sound familiar to you?
I'm not saying that any of what we do is bad or good – just that it is often automatic.. and if someone just focuses on what they are doing in life without considering how they're being about it, the results they generate, and the experience they have in life will be completely different.
Application
So how might this idea be applied to your life, right now? Let's look at: Being at Effect and Being at Cause. Also called Being Victim and Being Responsible.
Being at Effect
Many of people feel like victims in life and by being a victim I mean: they feel powerless and helpless in some act/circumstance/condition. They are DONE to. They are at effect.
Can you think of anyone in your life who sounds like this, maybe I can call him Save me Steve:
He seeks advice, looks for rescue, he can't be who he really are because of all the stuff that's happening in his life, and the source of the problem is everywhere but himself.
There's nothing wrong with being this way, and nothing right about it either. But it's not powerful. As a victim, I cannot be the source of my life.
Being at Cause
By contrast, let's look at being At Cause.. Being Responsible. I define a being responsible as: being accountable for interpretations and behaviors. Caring mainly about the ultimate success of projects and relationships and being oriented to action and correction rather than explanation and self-protection.
Who is a model of responsibility in your life?
I think of Responsible Ross. Ross focuses on what is working and what is not working. He does not approach a relationship or project as though something is wrong, he approaches it as though something is missing. Ross is not as concerned with looking good as with having life work.
I'm not saying that being Responsible is better than being victim. It's just that by being responsible I am empowered to be the source of my own results in life, not intimated or weighed down by it as I would as Victim. Responsibility actually gives me freedom to act.
So, how do you think life would be if you were living in a state of Responsibility? Do you think you would do anything differently than if you were in a victim state of being?
Doing vs Being in sales
As a final example, let's look at how this idea might be applied to a sales person.
How many different programs are there out there to teach you how to sell?
A LOT.
And some are very effective; some less so. So knowing what to do and how to do it is important. Agreed?
But let's look at two scenarios of a seller who is very skillful at selling:
First scenario: the seller wins the lottery the night before he meets his prospect. He has $100,000,000 in his bank account, and he goes to sell something to his prospect. The seller is elated and doesn't have a care in the world. His state of being is blissful, free and joyous. How do you think he will perform?
Second scenario: the seller's house burned to the ground the night before the seller met his prospect. The seller lost everything and the prospect was his only chance at getting some money for dinner for that night. The seller is defeated, scared and on the verge of emotional breakdown. His state of being is desperation.
How do you think he will perform now? Can you think of how your performance is being affected by how you're BEING about what you're doing?
What now?
We now have the idea that how you DO something is certainly important, but how you BE about it is even MORE important! So, with this important distinction made, what do you do now?
The "simple" answer is: learn to control your states of being. But as you may already know from experience, taking control of yourself can be a very great challenge, especially in emotional situations!! The HOW of it is a whole process in and of itself, something that we'll explore in more depth in the next article.
But to get you started, I believe that the first, and easiest step to take is grow self awareness. Are things not going the way you expect or hope them to go? Consider asking yourself some questions:
What are my thoughts, feelings and body sensations?
What beliefs, interpretations or judgments am I holding?
What result am I trying to get? What do I REALLY want?
And consider taking on activities that bring you to the present such as:
Meditation.
Conscious Breathing.
Grounding exercises.
What is a Life Coach?
Found a great article defining what a life coach is/does.
Read the remainder of the article at:
http://www.businessballs.com/lifecoaching.htm
life coaching/personal coaching definitions and features
Life coaching and personal coaching are interchangeable terms - they mean the same.
Life coaching aims to draws out a person's potential rather than puts in aims and knowledge from outside.
It develops rather than imposes.
It reflects rather than directs.
Effective life coaching or personal coaching is a form of change facilitation - it enables people, rather than trains them.
Life coaching is reactive and flexible - it allows for personal transition on an individual basis.
Coaching of this sort makes no assumptions - it's not judgmental, nor is it prescriptive or instructional.
Empathy is central to the coaching process.
Good personal coaching seeks to help the other person's understanding of himself or herself.
Life coaching is rather like a brand or label of the life coaching industry, but it potentially covers virtually every aspect of personal development that an individual might aspire to - for career direction and development, management, executive and leadership, business start-up and entrepreneurialism, life skills, personal fulfilment, life-balance, and the aquisition of specific skills or knowledge.
Life coaching can be this adaptable because it is not concerned with delivery and specilaised training - it focuses on enablement and reflection, so that the individual decides and discovers their required progression themselves.
Read the remainder of the article at:
http://www.businessballs.com/lifecoaching.htm
Thanks to all the Angels on Earth...
You read a lot of articles from me of 'positive thinking' and goal setting.
Here's the reality, even if it's hard to hear.
For a decade I was stuck in a cycle of depression and suicidal thinking. Just over a year ago, I was on the edge of ending my life almost weekly.
But I made a choice to change my life. I quit my job of 5 years and career of 10 years without knowing what was next... all I knew was that there was something better for me out there. It was scary... and for a few months I was really lost. Feeling happier to be removed from the stress of doing what I hated, but still not knowing what to do next.
10 months ago I met a life coach (Tracey Pitts) and more recently began working with another (Halli McNab).
In 10 months I have found a career I am passionate about (Life Coaching), I am earning money in my new career, my family relationships have improved, my romantic relationship is so much more fulfilling, I have at least 20 new friends who I know will be there for the rest of my life, I have generated income from nothing on the internet, I have stopped needing to take anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication, and I have created a purpose for myself and my life.
This is what Life Coaching can do for you too. I did the work, I put in the effort, but my coaches have helped reveal the way...
Talk to me if you want to see how life coaching can change your life.
On this Thanksgiving weekend, I give thanks for Life Coaching and Life Coaches around the world. You are truly angels on Earth.
For a decade I was stuck in a cycle of depression and suicidal thinking. Just over a year ago, I was on the edge of ending my life almost weekly.
But I made a choice to change my life. I quit my job of 5 years and career of 10 years without knowing what was next... all I knew was that there was something better for me out there. It was scary... and for a few months I was really lost. Feeling happier to be removed from the stress of doing what I hated, but still not knowing what to do next.
10 months ago I met a life coach (Tracey Pitts) and more recently began working with another (Halli McNab).
In 10 months I have found a career I am passionate about (Life Coaching), I am earning money in my new career, my family relationships have improved, my romantic relationship is so much more fulfilling, I have at least 20 new friends who I know will be there for the rest of my life, I have generated income from nothing on the internet, I have stopped needing to take anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication, and I have created a purpose for myself and my life.
This is what Life Coaching can do for you too. I did the work, I put in the effort, but my coaches have helped reveal the way...
Talk to me if you want to see how life coaching can change your life.
On this Thanksgiving weekend, I give thanks for Life Coaching and Life Coaches around the world. You are truly angels on Earth.
The Fourth Mistake: You're Trapped by your...
In this series of articles, we’ve been looking at the mistakes Professional Women Make that Keep them Feeling Bored at Work and Trapped by the Corporate Cage.
So far we have discussed what happens when you do not invest in yourself, what the result of isolating yourself is, and how your decisions are being ruled by FEAR.
The fourth mistake you're making that is keeping you bored at work and trapped by the corporate cage? You are trapped by your Contexts.
The simple realization that there is another way to look at life can be mind blowing.
But as we start to see our Contexts it becomes a bit of a journey down the rabbit hole because throughout our lives we have developed so many contexts... and when we chip away at our contexts, we are chipping away at our Reality.
First, what do I mean by context? Oxford Dictionary defines context as:
Simply put, context is the story, framework, paradigm, filter or colored lens through which you view the world. In the expression "see the world through rose-colored glasses", the rose-colored glasses are an example of a context. If you literally put a pair of rose-colored glasses, everything in the world takes on a pink hue. In reality, the world is still the same, vibrant and multicolored world, but from your perspective, everything looks pink. There are many contexts that are common to humans:
good & bad;
valuable & not valuable;
fair & not fair;
domination & submission, and
This is all fine and good, but what if my parents gave me the context that cats must stay indoors at all times. What if I was never even aware that there was another way for cats and humans to interact? My choices and possibilities have been limited and I didn't even know it!
Whether we are aware of it or not, we have a context for everything in life. And we did not choose the majority of the contexts we have in our minds. The consequences for this can be disastrous.
For example, what is your context around money? Is that context helping you where you want to get to in life? One exercise you can conduct is as follows:
1. money is evil, it's unfair (some have too much, others have too little), it's painful and deprives people of things they need/want, it's an unfair measure of success...
2. I avoid making lots of it; I avoid asking for the amount of money I want or think I'm worth; I give away services for free; I speak about all the other great things I do in my life that don't involve money.
The question I need to ask myself is: does this context around money help me in my life? What does this context make impossible in my life? Obviously this kind of a context that I have about money is not going make it very easy for me to become wealthy! So since my context doesn't help, what different view would help me in my life?
One way I found is to live in a foreign country. My time living in China taught me a lot about my own contexts and the contexts I was given by my western culture. While living in Asia, I saw a different way to approach things. And some ways I found to be more useful in my life. The most empowering result of being aware of my own contexts was Choice -- my choices were expand.
Another great way is to work with a therapist, life coach or other healer. Why? Because they can stand outside of you and see the reality that you're creating for yourself when you cannot.
Finally, through reading this article, I hope that I have provoked you to start asking yourself the question: what context am I in at the moment? Am I playing in a right/wrong context? Awareness is the first step to freeing yourself from automatic and unhelpful contexts.
From the series:
The fourth mistake you're making that is keeping you bored at work and trapped by the corporate cage? You are trapped by your Contexts.
What's a Context?
I see this as one of the most prevalent and least obvious barriers to anyone's success. The context that you are living within prevents you from seeing any other possible ways of living. For you, your context is Reality. There is nothing else.The simple realization that there is another way to look at life can be mind blowing.
But as we start to see our Contexts it becomes a bit of a journey down the rabbit hole because throughout our lives we have developed so many contexts... and when we chip away at our contexts, we are chipping away at our Reality.
First, what do I mean by context? Oxford Dictionary defines context as:
The idea can be extended to our minds: when an event occurs, the story that we have in our minds or the circumstances we are living in, creates context for the event. And our internal context gives meaning to the event. Have you ever been to a meeting with five different people and something happens in the meeting and the five participants have five different interpretations of what happened in the meeting? The different interpretations are a result of the different contexts the five different people have.
- The parts of something written or spoken that immediately precede and follow a word or passage and clarify its meaning.
- The circumstances relevant to something under consideration.
Simply put, context is the story, framework, paradigm, filter or colored lens through which you view the world. In the expression "see the world through rose-colored glasses", the rose-colored glasses are an example of a context. If you literally put a pair of rose-colored glasses, everything in the world takes on a pink hue. In reality, the world is still the same, vibrant and multicolored world, but from your perspective, everything looks pink. There are many contexts that are common to humans:
good & bad;
valuable & not valuable;
fair & not fair;
domination & submission, and
There is a way that things should be. And when they are that way, things are right. When they're not that way, there's something wrong with me (the interpreter of events), with them (other people), or with it (anything in the world).
Why should I care about Contexts?
There is nothing 'wrong' about a context--it either enables you to achieve what you want or it does not. But it is important to recognize that contexts are decisive. Contexts limit the possibilities for action. If it is my context that cats should be locked indoors at all times, this forever defines what I will be able to do and how I will interact with my cat, my guests and myself. My context limits the possibilities for the actions I (and my cat) can take. I can never play with the cat outdoors. I can never hold the door open when the cat is near it. I can never have windows wide open.This is all fine and good, but what if my parents gave me the context that cats must stay indoors at all times. What if I was never even aware that there was another way for cats and humans to interact? My choices and possibilities have been limited and I didn't even know it!
Whether we are aware of it or not, we have a context for everything in life. And we did not choose the majority of the contexts we have in our minds. The consequences for this can be disastrous.
For example, what is your context around money? Is that context helping you where you want to get to in life? One exercise you can conduct is as follows:
- Write down all the judgments, negative facts, interpretations, and truths about the topic.
- Then list the strategies you use to overcome each item.
1. money is evil, it's unfair (some have too much, others have too little), it's painful and deprives people of things they need/want, it's an unfair measure of success...
2. I avoid making lots of it; I avoid asking for the amount of money I want or think I'm worth; I give away services for free; I speak about all the other great things I do in my life that don't involve money.
The question I need to ask myself is: does this context around money help me in my life? What does this context make impossible in my life? Obviously this kind of a context that I have about money is not going make it very easy for me to become wealthy! So since my context doesn't help, what different view would help me in my life?
How do I reveal my Contexts?
Contexts are tricky beasts because they are real to us. The context I have around money is my reality. I'm going to assert that a millionaire's context around money is quite different. The question then becomes: how do I reveal my contexts?One way I found is to live in a foreign country. My time living in China taught me a lot about my own contexts and the contexts I was given by my western culture. While living in Asia, I saw a different way to approach things. And some ways I found to be more useful in my life. The most empowering result of being aware of my own contexts was Choice -- my choices were expand.
Another great way is to work with a therapist, life coach or other healer. Why? Because they can stand outside of you and see the reality that you're creating for yourself when you cannot.
Finally, through reading this article, I hope that I have provoked you to start asking yourself the question: what context am I in at the moment? Am I playing in a right/wrong context? Awareness is the first step to freeing yourself from automatic and unhelpful contexts.
From the series:
- Massive Mistakes Professional Women Make that Keep them Feeling Bored at Work and Trapped by the Corporate Cage
- The First Mistake: You don't invest in yourself.
- The Second mistake you're making: you isolate yourself...
- The Third Mistake...
- The Fourth Mistake...
Guest Post from Murray Newlands -- 2012 Blogger's Awards
The 2012 Blogger's Awards
There are so many excellent bloggers and publishers doing excellent work, and those who stand out deserve to have their hard work recognized, relate with each other, and see their readerships grow. That’s why the World Media Awards exist- to recognize and reward great contributions to media from bloggers and publishers.
In my own career, I’ve learned and benefited so much from others that I wanted to help build some way to give back to an industry I love show appreciation to the up-and-coming leaders. The World Media Awards will culminate in a 1 day event in San Francisco that will celebrate the best in blogging, forums, publishing and media from around the world.
So if you are a world class blogger, why should you enter?
1. Get Recognized- You Deserve It :)
2. Meet Other Bloggers Who Care
3. Expose Yourself to New Partners
4. Make Yourself Irresistible to Clients
5. Be Part of the Beginning of Something Big
The bottom line is, the World Media Awards will shine a spotlight on the year’s most prosperous bloggers and publishers, and on the businesses and companies that serve and interact with them.
Now is your chance to be one of them.
The sponsors include Growmap, Pace Lattin, VigLink and Trancos. World Media Award judges include Steve Hall, Sarah Austin, Chang Kim, Julie Wohlberg, Pierre Zarokian, Ivka Adam, Cheryl Contee, Krystyl Baldwin, Adrian Harris, Jeremy Wright, Rob Bloggeries, Dave Duarte, Tanya Alvarez, Dana Oshiro, Tom Foremski, and Judith Lewis.
hashtag #wmads on Twitter.
Media partners include Adrants, Bloggeries, MediaVision, The Affiliate Marketing Awards, Read Write Web, My Blog Guest, Web Traffic Control and FeedBlitz.
Murray Newlands is author of How to Make a Blog Book and Online Marketing; a User Guide. He is also founder of the Affiliate Marketing Awards. Born in the UK, he now spends his time in San Francisco and New York. Murray works for Audience Mindshare and consults for Trancos Ins as well as being an advisor for VigLink. Actually he is working on his new book: The Email Marketing Book.
In my own career, I’ve learned and benefited so much from others that I wanted to help build some way to give back to an industry I love show appreciation to the up-and-coming leaders. The World Media Awards will culminate in a 1 day event in San Francisco that will celebrate the best in blogging, forums, publishing and media from around the world.
So if you are a world class blogger, why should you enter?
1. Get Recognized- You Deserve It :)
2. Meet Other Bloggers Who Care
3. Expose Yourself to New Partners
4. Make Yourself Irresistible to Clients
5. Be Part of the Beginning of Something Big
The bottom line is, the World Media Awards will shine a spotlight on the year’s most prosperous bloggers and publishers, and on the businesses and companies that serve and interact with them.
Now is your chance to be one of them.
The sponsors include Growmap, Pace Lattin, VigLink and Trancos. World Media Award judges include Steve Hall, Sarah Austin, Chang Kim, Julie Wohlberg, Pierre Zarokian, Ivka Adam, Cheryl Contee, Krystyl Baldwin, Adrian Harris, Jeremy Wright, Rob Bloggeries, Dave Duarte, Tanya Alvarez, Dana Oshiro, Tom Foremski, and Judith Lewis.
hashtag #wmads on Twitter.
Media partners include Adrants, Bloggeries, MediaVision, The Affiliate Marketing Awards, Read Write Web, My Blog Guest, Web Traffic Control and FeedBlitz.
Murray Newlands is author of How to Make a Blog Book and Online Marketing; a User Guide. He is also founder of the Affiliate Marketing Awards. Born in the UK, he now spends his time in San Francisco and New York. Murray works for Audience Mindshare and consults for Trancos Ins as well as being an advisor for VigLink. Actually he is working on his new book: The Email Marketing Book.
Magnetize Your Audience -- Fill Your Workshops and Seminars...with Ease!
Do you live in Edmonton, Calgary, Vancouver or Victoria? Or can you get there easily?
One of my favorite people in the world, and one of the most influential teachers I've had in a long, long time, Callan Rush, is going to be in your city soon, delivering her FREE speaking event: Fill Your Workshops and Seminars... With Ease!
Callan and her partner Justin Livingston have transformed my concept of how to run my coaching business. And I love them because they really get the conflict that I and other helpers often feel about charging money for our services.
If you're a helper -- coach, counselor, healer -- and if you're anything like me, you almost feel guilty to charge people money for what you do. I do.. I mean, I did, anyway! I'm still struggling a little -- my altruistic nature often shines through -- but I'm getting better at asking for the income I deserve (for the value I give).
Callan and Justin helped me understand how to deliver massive value to potential clients WAY before I ever get to talking about how much I charge for what I do.
This event is not just for workshop or seminar leaders. But at the event you will understand how learning to deliver effective workshops and seminars is key to developing your business. Why? Because people want to buy YOU. So they have to get an experience of you in person first.
If you're struggling as a helper or healer, this event is for you! It's a totally free event, but the value you get will keep your mind humming for weeks and months to come.
So if you're in or near Edmonton, Calgary, Vancouver or Victoria in September, register for Callan Rush and Justin Livingston's Fill Your Workshops with Ease Seminar.
http://www.magnetizeyouraudience.com/fillyourworkshops
One of my favorite people in the world, and one of the most influential teachers I've had in a long, long time, Callan Rush, is going to be in your city soon, delivering her FREE speaking event: Fill Your Workshops and Seminars... With Ease!
Callan and her partner Justin Livingston have transformed my concept of how to run my coaching business. And I love them because they really get the conflict that I and other helpers often feel about charging money for our services.
If you're a helper -- coach, counselor, healer -- and if you're anything like me, you almost feel guilty to charge people money for what you do. I do.. I mean, I did, anyway! I'm still struggling a little -- my altruistic nature often shines through -- but I'm getting better at asking for the income I deserve (for the value I give).
Callan and Justin helped me understand how to deliver massive value to potential clients WAY before I ever get to talking about how much I charge for what I do.
This event is not just for workshop or seminar leaders. But at the event you will understand how learning to deliver effective workshops and seminars is key to developing your business. Why? Because people want to buy YOU. So they have to get an experience of you in person first.
If you're struggling as a helper or healer, this event is for you! It's a totally free event, but the value you get will keep your mind humming for weeks and months to come.
So if you're in or near Edmonton, Calgary, Vancouver or Victoria in September, register for Callan Rush and Justin Livingston's Fill Your Workshops with Ease Seminar.
http://www.magnetizeyouraudience.com/fillyourworkshops
What, do you need to be struck by lightning?
Or what other "sign" are you waiting for?
I heard an interesting story about signs yesterday. A local resident, Phil, shared his story about a recent incident he had with a beaver. As I listened, I couldn't help but wonder how blind Phil was to the signs he was receiving from ... Someone!
Phil's five-acre yard has a small lake. On that lake is a small island. And on that island was a willow tree. Phil was quite enamored with the tree as it made the scene was quite idyllic.
Idyllic until a beaver took up residence in the lake.
One night Phil heard some gnawing sounds coming from outside, but as he lives in rural area, he didn't think much of it. The next morning, however he was stunned. As he looked from his porch to his little paradise island, the willow tree was gone! That beaver had cut it down and was using it to build his new home!
Over the coming days and weeks, the beaver made swift progress through the rest of the trees on the island, and the once beautiful island was slowly and surely being ruined.
Phil felt a great conflict in his heart -- did he want to keep his beautiful island or let the beaver be? He didn't really want to kill the beaver, but he didn't want to lose his island, either. So he checked with a local trapper hoping that he could relocate the beaver; the trapper informed Phil he would just kill the beaver.. and he would charge him for it.
So Phil made the decision to shoot the beaver himself.
Over the next couple of weeks Phil hunted the beaver. Beavers are nocturnal creatures, so each evening Phil would put on his head lamp and stalk the beaver late into the night. From time to time he would see the beaver and take shots at it, but since Phil was no marksman he would always miss. This went on for many nights. And each night Phil would experience more doubt and regret -- he didn't really want to kill the beaver after all.
Eventually the beaver got used to Phil, and would wander around in plain view, and would even sit and stare at Phil. With the beaver's guard lowered, one evening, Phil got the chance he needed -- the beaver was so close Phil couldn't possibly miss. So Phil took careful aim, calmed his breathing, pulled the trigger, and ...
Nothing happened! The gun had jammed!
Phil was so frustrated! He was tired of hunting the stupid beaver. He didn't want to stay up so late each night in the cold. He was sick of losing his little paradise island!
So he quickly checked the gun, found the problem, fixed it and he took aim.
He calmed his breath.
He slowly squeezed the trigger... and blam! He shot the beaver...
And, sadly, the beaver was killed.
As I listened to this story, I couldn't help but notice how many signs from God, Nature, or the Infinite Intelligence (whatever you'd like to call it) Phil had received. It was so clear to me that someone or something was giving Phil a clear message: don't kill this creature.
I was so obvious to me. Phil was so persistent in taking a life, but the Universe was telling him not to! I couldn't believe how hard he was trying to kill another being. In my mind I judged him as a fool!
Have you ever noticed how people are always asking for signs from Heaven or God. Always we ask for some simple sign to tell us what to do. Please God, give me a sign, tell me what to do!
I do this as well. I often ask for a sign. For some guidance.
I ask, but rarely do I ever get the sign I want.
But after I heard Phil's story and observed how oblivious he was to the signs from Beyond -- to me, I don't think it could be any more obvious that signs were being given! -- I wonder, how many signs have I just not listened to, or could not see?
Do you ever wonder how many signs have you missed?
Are your prayers,wishes, and hopes being answered after all?
I heard an interesting story about signs yesterday. A local resident, Phil, shared his story about a recent incident he had with a beaver. As I listened, I couldn't help but wonder how blind Phil was to the signs he was receiving from ... Someone!
Phil's five-acre yard has a small lake. On that lake is a small island. And on that island was a willow tree. Phil was quite enamored with the tree as it made the scene was quite idyllic.
Idyllic until a beaver took up residence in the lake.
One night Phil heard some gnawing sounds coming from outside, but as he lives in rural area, he didn't think much of it. The next morning, however he was stunned. As he looked from his porch to his little paradise island, the willow tree was gone! That beaver had cut it down and was using it to build his new home!
Over the coming days and weeks, the beaver made swift progress through the rest of the trees on the island, and the once beautiful island was slowly and surely being ruined.
Phil felt a great conflict in his heart -- did he want to keep his beautiful island or let the beaver be? He didn't really want to kill the beaver, but he didn't want to lose his island, either. So he checked with a local trapper hoping that he could relocate the beaver; the trapper informed Phil he would just kill the beaver.. and he would charge him for it.
So Phil made the decision to shoot the beaver himself.
Over the next couple of weeks Phil hunted the beaver. Beavers are nocturnal creatures, so each evening Phil would put on his head lamp and stalk the beaver late into the night. From time to time he would see the beaver and take shots at it, but since Phil was no marksman he would always miss. This went on for many nights. And each night Phil would experience more doubt and regret -- he didn't really want to kill the beaver after all.
Eventually the beaver got used to Phil, and would wander around in plain view, and would even sit and stare at Phil. With the beaver's guard lowered, one evening, Phil got the chance he needed -- the beaver was so close Phil couldn't possibly miss. So Phil took careful aim, calmed his breathing, pulled the trigger, and ...
Nothing happened! The gun had jammed!
Phil was so frustrated! He was tired of hunting the stupid beaver. He didn't want to stay up so late each night in the cold. He was sick of losing his little paradise island!
So he quickly checked the gun, found the problem, fixed it and he took aim.
He calmed his breath.
He slowly squeezed the trigger... and blam! He shot the beaver...
And, sadly, the beaver was killed.
As I listened to this story, I couldn't help but notice how many signs from God, Nature, or the Infinite Intelligence (whatever you'd like to call it) Phil had received. It was so clear to me that someone or something was giving Phil a clear message: don't kill this creature.
I was so obvious to me. Phil was so persistent in taking a life, but the Universe was telling him not to! I couldn't believe how hard he was trying to kill another being. In my mind I judged him as a fool!
Have you ever noticed how people are always asking for signs from Heaven or God. Always we ask for some simple sign to tell us what to do. Please God, give me a sign, tell me what to do!
I do this as well. I often ask for a sign. For some guidance.
I ask, but rarely do I ever get the sign I want.
But after I heard Phil's story and observed how oblivious he was to the signs from Beyond -- to me, I don't think it could be any more obvious that signs were being given! -- I wonder, how many signs have I just not listened to, or could not see?
Do you ever wonder how many signs have you missed?
Are your prayers,wishes, and hopes being answered after all?
Campbell River Diversity Health Fair an Incredible Success!
Diversity + Health + Fair = Success!
The people of Campbell River have shown that their health is very important to them. On Saturday August 13th, the Immigrant Welcome Centre of Campbell River opened the doors to their 1st Annual Diversity Health Fair. The fair is based on Vancouver’s annual fair, the largest event of its kind in Canada. While Vancouver had 0.6 % of its population, or 1 out of every 183 people, attend their fair Campbell River had 2.7% of the population, or 1 out of every 38 people, attend the fair...
Read more in this press release:
Not Exercising Hard Enough? Exercising Too Hard?
This article courtesy my personal trainer Jason "Fitman" Hart. No lie, Jason is one of the best physical trainers I've ever had, and to me he embodies the whole being of "Teacher". Motivation, support, education, know-how, belief, and most importantly care. Jason actually cares about his clients. He wants the best for us, and I believe that I will have it, being with him.
See more of Jason's articles at http://getsexycampbellriver.com/
4 signs you’re not working hard enough, and 4 signs you’re working too hard specifically with regards to metabolic-type workouts
Let’s first define what Metabolic Training is…
Metabolic Training is the ultimate fusion of anaerobic strength and aerobic cardio exercise and adds a new twist to the classic bodybuilding routines of the past.
A metabolic workout is essentially a total body interval workout using short, max effort anaerobic work periods (typically 15-60 seconds in length) performed in an alternating set format (such as supersets, circuits, complexes, Tabatas, etc.) with short, incomplete rest periods between exercises (typically 10-30 seconds in length).
The high training intensity builds strength and muscle, jacks up anaerobic metabolism, and creates a large post-workout afterburn for up to 48 hours after completing your workout.
The high training density, or work completed per unit of time, causes a great deal of direct calorie burning during the workout to best stimulate fat loss.
Finally, the negative work-to-rest ratios (e.g. 20 seconds of work and 10 seconds of rest) inherent to the vast majority of metabolic workouts create a cumulative fatigue that also stimulates aerobic metabolism and thus provides incredible cardiovascular benefits.
That being said, metabolic training is not for the weak of mind or heart and it’s all about working as hard as you possibly can at your current fitness level. Outlined below is a general criteria to follow to ensure you do just that:
2.) Lack of Personal Confrontation: Studies show that training intensity, not volume, determines the degree of metabolic boost from a given workout. That being said, if you don’t have at least a couple moments during your workout when you feel like you want to quit or you want to hit your personal trainer, you’re not working hard enough. Progressive overload remains the hallmark of any solid fitness routine and if you are not pushing past your comfort zone your body will stop adapting to ANY routine. This is nothing more than the woman/man in the mirror test- get some!
3.) No Sounds of Exertion: If you’re not grunting, groaning, huffing, or puffing you’re simply not working hard enough. Your heart rate should be up the whole workout with your lungs working overtime and you might even get a nice little workout booger or two by the time it’s all said and done. In other words, these total body workouts create a systemic effect that activates your body’s fight or flight response to help you go the distance. I’m not saying you have to scream like a rabid animal, but I am saying that I wouldn’t be surprised if you did. Finally, I think another good analogy is the 4 letter word test- if you’re not fighting back the burning desire to yell out a profane 4 letter word or two, well then you’re probably not working hard enough.
4.) Not Sweating: A good metabolic workout will have you glistening during the first couple minutes of the workout and your shirt should be soaked halfway in. If you’re not dripping in a pool of your own sweat at the end of each workout, you simply did not use use heavy enough loads or advanced enough exercise variations to create a metabolic disturbance. Either that or you were resting too long between sets. In general, you should never take more than 60 seconds of rest between sets with metabolic training and 10-30 seconds seems to be the sweet spot.
2.) Excessive Resting: If you are being forced to rest/pause a couple times during a work period, or you’re resting longer than your rest periods allow for, you’re probably working too hard. If you choose the appropriate exercise intensity, you should be able to train with minimal if any stopping during the work periods within your workout. As the workout progresses, a brief 3-5 second pause here and there to reset and reload is fine, but if you’re taking any longer than that and stopping constantly, then you need to reduce your loads or regress the exercise appropriately.
3.) Excessive Breathing: A good workout will have you breathing hard as your body’s demand for oxygen increases, but you should never be completely out of breath or gasping for air. If you start wheezing or coughing, that’s a clear sign to stop exercising immediately. If symptoms persist, it could be related to exercise-induced asthma or another serious condition and you should seek immediate medical attention. It’s important to note that larger individuals with more muscle mass will have greater overall oxygen demands and will thus be more prone to being out of breath than their smaller, less muscled counterparts.
4.)Dizziness or Blurred Vision: If you get dizzy or have vision trouble during any portion of exercise, then you’re probably working too hard. Either that or you could be experiencing a migraine or vertigo or have symptoms of low blood pressure, dehydration, or lack of nutrition. If this conditions persists, you must immediately discontinue your fitness program and seek medical attention.
Is it time to revv up the intensity level?
See more of Jason's articles at http://getsexycampbellriver.com/
Not Exercising Hard Enough? Exercising Too Hard?
Let’s first define what Metabolic Training is…
Metabolic Training is the ultimate fusion of anaerobic strength and aerobic cardio exercise and adds a new twist to the classic bodybuilding routines of the past.
A metabolic workout is essentially a total body interval workout using short, max effort anaerobic work periods (typically 15-60 seconds in length) performed in an alternating set format (such as supersets, circuits, complexes, Tabatas, etc.) with short, incomplete rest periods between exercises (typically 10-30 seconds in length).
The high training intensity builds strength and muscle, jacks up anaerobic metabolism, and creates a large post-workout afterburn for up to 48 hours after completing your workout.
The high training density, or work completed per unit of time, causes a great deal of direct calorie burning during the workout to best stimulate fat loss.
Finally, the negative work-to-rest ratios (e.g. 20 seconds of work and 10 seconds of rest) inherent to the vast majority of metabolic workouts create a cumulative fatigue that also stimulates aerobic metabolism and thus provides incredible cardiovascular benefits.
That being said, metabolic training is not for the weak of mind or heart and it’s all about working as hard as you possibly can at your current fitness level. Outlined below is a general criteria to follow to ensure you do just that:
4 Signs You’re NOT Working Hard Enough
1.) Lack of Muscular Burn: Anaerobic exercise with short, incomplete rest periods creates a great deal of lactic acid accumulation causing intense muscular fatigue and burning. Simply put, if your muscles aren’t burning, you’re not working hard enough. However, this does not mean that you need train to muscular failure on every set. However, for the optimal training effect you should come close to but stop just before technical failure, the point at which going any further would comprise proper exercise form and technique.2.) Lack of Personal Confrontation: Studies show that training intensity, not volume, determines the degree of metabolic boost from a given workout. That being said, if you don’t have at least a couple moments during your workout when you feel like you want to quit or you want to hit your personal trainer, you’re not working hard enough. Progressive overload remains the hallmark of any solid fitness routine and if you are not pushing past your comfort zone your body will stop adapting to ANY routine. This is nothing more than the woman/man in the mirror test- get some!
3.) No Sounds of Exertion: If you’re not grunting, groaning, huffing, or puffing you’re simply not working hard enough. Your heart rate should be up the whole workout with your lungs working overtime and you might even get a nice little workout booger or two by the time it’s all said and done. In other words, these total body workouts create a systemic effect that activates your body’s fight or flight response to help you go the distance. I’m not saying you have to scream like a rabid animal, but I am saying that I wouldn’t be surprised if you did. Finally, I think another good analogy is the 4 letter word test- if you’re not fighting back the burning desire to yell out a profane 4 letter word or two, well then you’re probably not working hard enough.
4.) Not Sweating: A good metabolic workout will have you glistening during the first couple minutes of the workout and your shirt should be soaked halfway in. If you’re not dripping in a pool of your own sweat at the end of each workout, you simply did not use use heavy enough loads or advanced enough exercise variations to create a metabolic disturbance. Either that or you were resting too long between sets. In general, you should never take more than 60 seconds of rest between sets with metabolic training and 10-30 seconds seems to be the sweet spot.
4 Signs You’re Working Too Hard
1.) Diminished Training Intensity: In general, if you need to reduce your training loads from set to set, then you’re probably working too hard. Your goal is to be able to use the sames loads at the end of the workout that you used in the beginning without excessively resting before increasing the loads in the subsequent workout. The only exception here is if the workout actually calls for you to reduce your loads throughout the training session. In addition, it’s better to go into a given work period with a general rep range to work within. For example, if you were using 30-second work periods, a typical rep range within that time frame is 8-12 reps if you’re moving at the typical 3-4 second per rep tempo. If you’re getting more than 15 reps, the loads are too light. If you’re getting less than 6 reps, the loads are too heavy.2.) Excessive Resting: If you are being forced to rest/pause a couple times during a work period, or you’re resting longer than your rest periods allow for, you’re probably working too hard. If you choose the appropriate exercise intensity, you should be able to train with minimal if any stopping during the work periods within your workout. As the workout progresses, a brief 3-5 second pause here and there to reset and reload is fine, but if you’re taking any longer than that and stopping constantly, then you need to reduce your loads or regress the exercise appropriately.
3.) Excessive Breathing: A good workout will have you breathing hard as your body’s demand for oxygen increases, but you should never be completely out of breath or gasping for air. If you start wheezing or coughing, that’s a clear sign to stop exercising immediately. If symptoms persist, it could be related to exercise-induced asthma or another serious condition and you should seek immediate medical attention. It’s important to note that larger individuals with more muscle mass will have greater overall oxygen demands and will thus be more prone to being out of breath than their smaller, less muscled counterparts.
4.)Dizziness or Blurred Vision: If you get dizzy or have vision trouble during any portion of exercise, then you’re probably working too hard. Either that or you could be experiencing a migraine or vertigo or have symptoms of low blood pressure, dehydration, or lack of nutrition. If this conditions persists, you must immediately discontinue your fitness program and seek medical attention.
Is it time to revv up the intensity level?
The Third Mistake You're Making... Your decisions are ruled by FEAR
In this series of articles, we've been looking at the mistakes Professional Women Make that Keep them Feeling Bored at Work and Trapped by the Corporate Cage.
So far we have discussed what happens when you do not invest in yourself, and what the result of isolating yourself is.
But I think that this next mistake is the main barrier to success in life, and it is internal to ourselves: it is Fear. Fear in all its shapes and forms.
Fear of change: What if we do this and my life changes? I'll tell you this: it's going to change whether you like it or not. But you have a choice -- you can be at the cause of the change or at the Effect of it.
Fear of failure -- what if I try and it doesn't work? This fear is near and dear to my heart. But I have a favorite quote that addresses it:
Fear of Failure has a buddy: Fear of Success: What if I do this and become so successful, so famous, what will happen then?
I've had the same fear in my life. For example, I made a decision about a year ago to really get comfortable with speaking in front of people. But I definitely feared the implications. I asked: What will happen if I do some knuckle headed thing on stage in front of thousands of people -- will I bring unending embarrassment to myself, my friends and my family?
But nothing in life is predictable. We try to use past experience to predict the future, but the thing I have learned about myself, you and all humans is that we have this infinite capacity to make 180 degree turns in our lives.
We fear the unknown, but ironically the unknown is also the realm of possibility. When we live in the realm of the possible -- of what CAN be -- we expand our capacity to adapt, dream and create!
If you're like me, you are probably sitting there saying, yeah, so what? I knew I was afraid. But what do I do about it?
I've learned that the first step is awareness. First, be aware of when you are allowing fear to stop you from doing what you want to do.
Once you are aware of the fear, then you can ask yourself -- is it a legitimate fear, or am I just making it up? Often our fears are just imaginary, fictitious interpretations based on pure fantasies. Clearly there are times when your fears are justified -- someone points a gun at you, and it's quite appropriate to be afraid -- or maybe a massive spider is looking at you like you could feed her for the next century.
Can you imagine what others will tell you if you have these fears? -- don't be afraid, just get over it! I've gotten that from people a lot, but I've come to finally accept that all of our fears are appropriate -- if you feel afraid, feel afraid! There's nothing wrong with that!
But if the fear is not based on something life-threatening -- i.e. there is no gun pointed at you -- and it is preventing you from achieving something you want to achieve in life, then it's time to start looking at the true source of the fear. What's it really about?
Some common sources of fear are survival and isolation. I often think that if I don't earn money, I will starve and die -- my very survival is at stake, therefore, if I go into an interview situation. Because if I don't earn money, I WILL DIE!!! Or so I believe ;)
As well, fear of being isolated or abandoned is very common. I'm afraid of speaking my mind, of really telling people what I think (whether or not my thoughts are accurate). I'm afraid that if I do that, everyone -- yes EVERYONE -- will hate me, and I will be shunned, excommunicated and left to rot on a mountain in the middle of nowhere.
What are your deep-seated fears?
... some ideas for ways to overcome these fears will be discussed in the next article...
From the series:
So far we have discussed what happens when you do not invest in yourself, and what the result of isolating yourself is.
But I think that this next mistake is the main barrier to success in life, and it is internal to ourselves: it is Fear. Fear in all its shapes and forms.
Fear of change: What if we do this and my life changes? I'll tell you this: it's going to change whether you like it or not. But you have a choice -- you can be at the cause of the change or at the Effect of it.
Fear of failure -- what if I try and it doesn't work? This fear is near and dear to my heart. But I have a favorite quote that addresses it:
In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is: NOTHING.
Fear of Failure has a buddy: Fear of Success: What if I do this and become so successful, so famous, what will happen then?
I've had the same fear in my life. For example, I made a decision about a year ago to really get comfortable with speaking in front of people. But I definitely feared the implications. I asked: What will happen if I do some knuckle headed thing on stage in front of thousands of people -- will I bring unending embarrassment to myself, my friends and my family?
But nothing in life is predictable. We try to use past experience to predict the future, but the thing I have learned about myself, you and all humans is that we have this infinite capacity to make 180 degree turns in our lives.
We fear the unknown, but ironically the unknown is also the realm of possibility. When we live in the realm of the possible -- of what CAN be -- we expand our capacity to adapt, dream and create!
If you're like me, you are probably sitting there saying, yeah, so what? I knew I was afraid. But what do I do about it?
I've learned that the first step is awareness. First, be aware of when you are allowing fear to stop you from doing what you want to do.
Once you are aware of the fear, then you can ask yourself -- is it a legitimate fear, or am I just making it up? Often our fears are just imaginary, fictitious interpretations based on pure fantasies. Clearly there are times when your fears are justified -- someone points a gun at you, and it's quite appropriate to be afraid -- or maybe a massive spider is looking at you like you could feed her for the next century.
Can you imagine what others will tell you if you have these fears? -- don't be afraid, just get over it! I've gotten that from people a lot, but I've come to finally accept that all of our fears are appropriate -- if you feel afraid, feel afraid! There's nothing wrong with that!
But if the fear is not based on something life-threatening -- i.e. there is no gun pointed at you -- and it is preventing you from achieving something you want to achieve in life, then it's time to start looking at the true source of the fear. What's it really about?
Some common sources of fear are survival and isolation. I often think that if I don't earn money, I will starve and die -- my very survival is at stake, therefore, if I go into an interview situation. Because if I don't earn money, I WILL DIE!!! Or so I believe ;)
As well, fear of being isolated or abandoned is very common. I'm afraid of speaking my mind, of really telling people what I think (whether or not my thoughts are accurate). I'm afraid that if I do that, everyone -- yes EVERYONE -- will hate me, and I will be shunned, excommunicated and left to rot on a mountain in the middle of nowhere.
What are your deep-seated fears?
... some ideas for ways to overcome these fears will be discussed in the next article...
From the series:
- Massive Mistakes Professional Women Make that Keep them Feeling Bored at Work and Trapped by the Corporate Cage
- The First Mistake: You don't invest in yourself.
- The Second mistake you're making: you isolate yourself...
- The Third Mistake...
- The Fourth Mistake...
Coping With Stress After A Cancer Diagnosis
Article courtesy Emily Walsh. See more great articles at Em-Musings.
Thanks so much for your contribution Emily!
Follow Emily on Facebook.
Follow Emily on Twitter.
For many people, a cancer diagnosis means the beginning of a very stressful time in their lives. A person may worry about what the future holds for them, what will happen to their family members, or what kinds of pain and misery they will face during treatment. Many people who have received a cancer diagnosis will find a multitude of things to stress out about, but it is important for these people to know that they can cope with the stress and live a better life. However, some people may not be able to cope with cancer on their own, and this is when having a knowledgeable and reliable support team becomes highly important to a person's fight against cancer.
Did you know that one of the best ways that you can help yourself after a cancer diagnosis is to talk about it? When you are facing the possibility of living with mesothelioma or another type of cancer, it is best to seek counseling to help you deal with the stress that can come into your life as a result of the diagnosis. However, you want to make sure that the person you are talking to is going to do more than just listen to you. You need to seek a counselor or life coach that will help you deal with your stressful feelings and turn your experience into a positive one. You can do more than just go to treatments and lie in bed all day. It is possible for you to live a great life, but you may need someone to help you achieve that.
There are so many resources out there to help you find ways to cope with stress during challenging situations, which includes setting realistic goals for yourself, making sure that you are prepared for stressful situations (e.g. job interviews), and looking at the positive aspects of your life rather than focusing on the negative. During stressful times, such as those that occur with a lung cancer, multiple myeloma, or mesothelioma prognosis, you may need someone to help you achieve these things. A life coach can help you do all of these things and more.
As a cancer survivor, it will benefit you greatly to identify both the big and the small things that add stress to your life and work to get rid of them or to turn them into positive life factors. If you don’t deal with the stress, it will hold you back from living your best life. Whether it’s for yourself, your children, or your family, begin the journey toward total happiness today. Remember that stress can only make things worse, but seeking help can make things much better for you.
Thanks so much for your contribution Emily!
Follow Emily on Facebook.
Follow Emily on Twitter.
Coping With Stress After A Cancer Diagnosis
For many people, a cancer diagnosis means the beginning of a very stressful time in their lives. A person may worry about what the future holds for them, what will happen to their family members, or what kinds of pain and misery they will face during treatment. Many people who have received a cancer diagnosis will find a multitude of things to stress out about, but it is important for these people to know that they can cope with the stress and live a better life. However, some people may not be able to cope with cancer on their own, and this is when having a knowledgeable and reliable support team becomes highly important to a person's fight against cancer.
Did you know that one of the best ways that you can help yourself after a cancer diagnosis is to talk about it? When you are facing the possibility of living with mesothelioma or another type of cancer, it is best to seek counseling to help you deal with the stress that can come into your life as a result of the diagnosis. However, you want to make sure that the person you are talking to is going to do more than just listen to you. You need to seek a counselor or life coach that will help you deal with your stressful feelings and turn your experience into a positive one. You can do more than just go to treatments and lie in bed all day. It is possible for you to live a great life, but you may need someone to help you achieve that.
There are so many resources out there to help you find ways to cope with stress during challenging situations, which includes setting realistic goals for yourself, making sure that you are prepared for stressful situations (e.g. job interviews), and looking at the positive aspects of your life rather than focusing on the negative. During stressful times, such as those that occur with a lung cancer, multiple myeloma, or mesothelioma prognosis, you may need someone to help you achieve these things. A life coach can help you do all of these things and more.
As a cancer survivor, it will benefit you greatly to identify both the big and the small things that add stress to your life and work to get rid of them or to turn them into positive life factors. If you don’t deal with the stress, it will hold you back from living your best life. Whether it’s for yourself, your children, or your family, begin the journey toward total happiness today. Remember that stress can only make things worse, but seeking help can make things much better for you.
Thank you to my fans, friends and supporters...
Some amazing things have happened today.
But really, I want to thank all of you who are behind me, supporting me, my friends, family, teammates, and all of you other souls who I have not yet had the honor of meeting but of whom I know are on my side. I can have the Vision, but it is YOU who are supporting me to make it a reality.
Humbly yours,
I just got my first full-pay, with a four month commitment, coaching client!
I guess I won't totally believe it until I get the first cheque in the bank, but my declaration has become reality.
I'm reminded of star wars:
Luke: "I don't believe it…"
Yoda: "That is why you fail."
But before the meeting, I repeated to myself over and over and over again (as I learned from Brian Tracy): "You are the best coach!".. and then I got my full pay client.
I think I need a little support to keep the belief alive until I actually get the money in the bank, but OMG, this is AMAZING! WHAT AN AMAZING EXPERIENCE!
4 months ago I made the decision to be a life coach, and in 4 months I have generated a full paying client OUT OF NOTHING. This relationship did not exist before I made my choice 4 months ago.
And now it does.
If that's not a real proof of the power of thought and possibility, I don't know what is.
Yeah, I've got a hang up about the physical manifestation of it in the form of money, but holy freaking hell man!
And guess what? Today, on this day, I also got TWO requests from other bloggers to post articles on my blog. This has never happened before. But somehow, today, they were compelled to read my blog and they were inspired to want to partner with me in the mission that I am on in life.
HOLY SHIT, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?
Is this actually real? Somebody pinch me, QUICK!
=)
But really, I want to thank all of you who are behind me, supporting me, my friends, family, teammates, and all of you other souls who I have not yet had the honor of meeting but of whom I know are on my side. I can have the Vision, but it is YOU who are supporting me to make it a reality.
Humbly yours,
Are you projecting?
As I've been launching my new career as a Life Coach, I've had a number of people offer me suggestions about how I should or should not do things.
I know all of them are caring and genuinely want to help me in their own way. But I've noticed that many people offer suggestions framed as,
"You should... " or "You shouldn't..." (or equivalent in less direct wording)
I've been reading about projecting -- the tendency many of us have to see things OUTSIDE of us that actually originate INSIDE of us.
For example, if you're mad at your partner for not listening to you and you wind up saying to them: "you should listen to me more!", you may be projecting a belief that you have about yourself: namely that YOU don't listen to your partner.
The idea is that our inner conflicts are usually unconscious and we project our inner struggles onto others...
The concept isn't really new to me, but I've recently learned an interesting approach to taking back projections.
One activity you can take is to substitute "I am" for "You shouldn't" / "I am not" for "You should"
e.g. When you say to someone: "You shouldn't blame me.", restate as an I statement: "I am blaming me.".
"You should be more respectful of others." can be restated as "I am not respectful of others."
This is an interesting experiment to play with yourself... and I found that it really got me to asking what my intention is when I tell people what they should or should not do. In many cases, I've identified some judgements of myself.
Try this out the next time you're in conversation with someone and you notice you're telling them what they should or should not do; try re-framing the sentence into what YOU are or are not doing.
... insights drawn from...
I know all of them are caring and genuinely want to help me in their own way. But I've noticed that many people offer suggestions framed as,
"You should... " or "You shouldn't..." (or equivalent in less direct wording)
I've been reading about projecting -- the tendency many of us have to see things OUTSIDE of us that actually originate INSIDE of us.
For example, if you're mad at your partner for not listening to you and you wind up saying to them: "you should listen to me more!", you may be projecting a belief that you have about yourself: namely that YOU don't listen to your partner.
The idea is that our inner conflicts are usually unconscious and we project our inner struggles onto others...
The concept isn't really new to me, but I've recently learned an interesting approach to taking back projections.
One activity you can take is to substitute "I am" for "You shouldn't" / "I am not" for "You should"
e.g. When you say to someone: "You shouldn't blame me.", restate as an I statement: "I am blaming me.".
"You should be more respectful of others." can be restated as "I am not respectful of others."
This is an interesting experiment to play with yourself... and I found that it really got me to asking what my intention is when I tell people what they should or should not do. In many cases, I've identified some judgements of myself.
Try this out the next time you're in conversation with someone and you notice you're telling them what they should or should not do; try re-framing the sentence into what YOU are or are not doing.
... insights drawn from...
What has the Rotary Duck Race done for Campbell River?
I asked some .. more experienced members? (trying not to say "old" .. whoops!) ... where the money from the annual Duck Race goes. Here's what they've told me so far:
Talk to me or any Rotarian if you want to participate.
- Karl Uhlig Garden at the hospital,
- Yuculta Lodge Sun Room.
- Woods Creek enhancement,
- Strathcona Gardens – water bikes,
- Words on the Water,
- Bridge in the Beaverlodge Lands,
- Community garden,
- Skate Park,
- Maritime Heritage Centre,
- Food Bank,
- Association for Community Living Kitchen,
- Salvation Army,
- Strathcona Wilderness Centre,
- John Howard Society,
- Playground on the spit,
- Playground at Centennial Pool,
- Search and Rescue,
- Head Injury Society building project,
- Disc Golf park,
- Outdoor Basketball court at the Sportplex,
- Slowpitch Assn.,
- CR Celtic Arts Society,
- Willow Point Scouts,
- Forest Cirle Child Care Program at Timberline,
- Lights on the Pier,
- The Waterpark to be completed by May 2012.
Talk to me or any Rotarian if you want to participate.
Lessons can come any time, any place
Seven months ago I began working with a life coach, and two months ago I began my life coach training program. Those are two environments in which I am intentionally learning and growing in my capacity to guide and support the people around me.
I've held the belief for a while now that anyone and anything can be your teacher, and the training program I'm in supports that belief. In fact, being a coach for another human being is one of the greatest opportunities to learn about myself. So it's fair to say that I'm usually ready to learn.
But every now and again I get caught off guard, and a lesson and teacher will sneak up and punch me right in the nose! That happened today.
I have an intention of growing my coaching practice this month. By the end of this month (August), it is my intention to have five new clients. So, with the intention of making a declaration (as a coach I enlist my clients to Declare and Fulfill), I innocently crafted a tweet today as follows:
Shortly after sending that tweet, a person, my teacher for the day, sent me a direct message.
Immediately my defenses raised, and I thought: "oh crap, I don't want to piss off people! that's totally not my intent -- I'm just asking for support! any kind!". So I messaged this person back:
I thought that would have cleared everything up. But it didn't end there...
or was I?
In the back of my mind, my training and self-awareness started to kick in: "Hey, this person is speaking from judgment and interpretation..." and "I'm getting sucked into judgment and interpretation myself.".
See, here's what I've distinguished in the past few months: there is Reality, and there is Interpretation of Reality. Reality is the realm of facts, and interpretation is the land of judgement and imagination. Most of us spend most of our time Interpreting Reality.
For example, some a-hole cuts us off on the road.
Spoken as a fact this is more accurately stated as "a person drives in front of us suddenly on the road, leaving little space between my car and his bumper. My body tenses and my heart begins to pound".
Spoken as interpretation, the guy 'cuts us off' -- an expression full of interpretation and judgment (as in, what kind of person cuts us off?.. he's rude and a jerk) -- and many of us (me for sure) would judge that person as being an idiot. And I would get angry..
or is it afraid? The judgement and interpretation is that I'm angry, but the fact is that my body has these particular sensations that I INTERPRET to be anger.
Back to the tweeting situation: the fact is I wrote a tweet. I interpreted that tweet to be a declaration and a request for support (of any kind). I did not interpret that tweet as fishing for clients. In my mind, I only really wanted someone to say: "hey man, good luck!" Or "You can do it!" Or, best case, "I'll forward this on for you."
But that reader of the list apparently took it as an attempt on my part to solicit. In subsequent tweets with this person, I saw much judgement and interpretation, much speaking from his internal story.
He gave me a lot of 'advice' that came through to me as "should's", which I interpret as a form of control. As in, "you should do that!", for me, in my new awareness, is the equivalent of "I want you to do that because that's what I would do", and there is implied control within that statement... as in, what I am doing is not 'right' and that I ought to change it to do it his way.
But all of this that I'm writing right now is, in and of itself, more judgement and interpretation and it's all imaginary!
What's the Reality here? I sent a message on an electronic medium. I hallucinate (borrowed from Tony Robbins =) ) that some people read it. Many did not. Clearly it affected one person. And it prompted me to learn something from the day.
And that is but ONE of the lessons I got from that exchange. :)
Stated concisely:
At any time I and you can become complete victims of our judgements, interpretations and imagination.
The thing to get from this is to be AWARE of what is happening. And realize, that in any moment, there is a choice... you can subscribe to your interpretations and judgements, or you can create and choose another path.
And finally, there is the opportunity here to understand that, There Are No Mistakes In Life. This was a bit of a disaster for me, but in the end it has created so much value for me.
Thanks for your teachings unnamed twitter follower :)
I've held the belief for a while now that anyone and anything can be your teacher, and the training program I'm in supports that belief. In fact, being a coach for another human being is one of the greatest opportunities to learn about myself. So it's fair to say that I'm usually ready to learn.
But every now and again I get caught off guard, and a lesson and teacher will sneak up and punch me right in the nose! That happened today.
I have an intention of growing my coaching practice this month. By the end of this month (August), it is my intention to have five new clients. So, with the intention of making a declaration (as a coach I enlist my clients to Declare and Fulfill), I innocently crafted a tweet today as follows:
I commit to having 5 full pay coaching clients by the end of Aug-- who's on my team?
Shortly after sending that tweet, a person, my teacher for the day, sent me a direct message.
Might want to be careful fishing for clients here.. They do not appreciate that!
Immediately my defenses raised, and I thought: "oh crap, I don't want to piss off people! that's totally not my intent -- I'm just asking for support! any kind!". So I messaged this person back:
oh, is that how that came across? not my intention at all! my intention was to ask for support... in all shapes and forms :)
I thought that would have cleared everything up. But it didn't end there...
ya got nothin in the bank of XXXX. Before withdrawal must come deposit. You of all ppl should know that.and
You need to build relationships. It's weird when perfect strangers ask for helpNow my feelings are getting hurt, and I'm getting mad, because this person is telling me what I should and should not do. AND he's got a bizarre interpretation of when it's acceptable to ask for help. So I was being insulted, and I was getting 'should-on'!
In the back of my mind, my training and self-awareness started to kick in: "Hey, this person is speaking from judgment and interpretation..." and "I'm getting sucked into judgment and interpretation myself.".
See, here's what I've distinguished in the past few months: there is Reality, and there is Interpretation of Reality. Reality is the realm of facts, and interpretation is the land of judgement and imagination. Most of us spend most of our time Interpreting Reality.
For example, some a-hole cuts us off on the road.
Spoken as a fact this is more accurately stated as "a person drives in front of us suddenly on the road, leaving little space between my car and his bumper. My body tenses and my heart begins to pound".
Spoken as interpretation, the guy 'cuts us off' -- an expression full of interpretation and judgment (as in, what kind of person cuts us off?.. he's rude and a jerk) -- and many of us (me for sure) would judge that person as being an idiot. And I would get angry..
or is it afraid? The judgement and interpretation is that I'm angry, but the fact is that my body has these particular sensations that I INTERPRET to be anger.
Back to the tweeting situation: the fact is I wrote a tweet. I interpreted that tweet to be a declaration and a request for support (of any kind). I did not interpret that tweet as fishing for clients. In my mind, I only really wanted someone to say: "hey man, good luck!" Or "You can do it!" Or, best case, "I'll forward this on for you."
But that reader of the list apparently took it as an attempt on my part to solicit. In subsequent tweets with this person, I saw much judgement and interpretation, much speaking from his internal story.
He gave me a lot of 'advice' that came through to me as "should's", which I interpret as a form of control. As in, "you should do that!", for me, in my new awareness, is the equivalent of "I want you to do that because that's what I would do", and there is implied control within that statement... as in, what I am doing is not 'right' and that I ought to change it to do it his way.
But all of this that I'm writing right now is, in and of itself, more judgement and interpretation and it's all imaginary!
What's the Reality here? I sent a message on an electronic medium. I hallucinate (borrowed from Tony Robbins =) ) that some people read it. Many did not. Clearly it affected one person. And it prompted me to learn something from the day.
And that is but ONE of the lessons I got from that exchange. :)
Stated concisely:
At any time I and you can become complete victims of our judgements, interpretations and imagination.
The thing to get from this is to be AWARE of what is happening. And realize, that in any moment, there is a choice... you can subscribe to your interpretations and judgements, or you can create and choose another path.
And finally, there is the opportunity here to understand that, There Are No Mistakes In Life. This was a bit of a disaster for me, but in the end it has created so much value for me.
Thanks for your teachings unnamed twitter follower :)
I'm also establishing a WordPress Blog...
I've decided to try out blogging with WordPress. Come have a look at the blog I'm building there: http://www.bestcoaching.ca/
Coaching is...
The best definition I've see of Life Coaching yet... Thanks to Accomplishment Coaching for putting this together.
For examples of this, read Real Life Coaching Stories.COACHING IS:
- We coach the conversation that is in the way of your commitment.
- We get at your personal best.
- We distinguish and empower (see what you are doing and not doing, hearing what you are saying or not saying, designing actions that give access to new power and possibility).
- We add speed and power to life’s projects (do you have one or more you are working on?)
- We make dreams come true.
- We get you out of your own way.
- We design actions that are in line with your commitments and values. What are your core commitments and values?
- We reveal your current context and practicing new ways of being.(Context defines what is currently possible and what actions can be taken. New context = new possibility + actions)
The second mistake you're making: you isolate yourself.
If you are anything like me or the many other people I have met, when you get to this point, you probably tend to want to hide... to retreat from the world. You isolate yourself.
You start to believe that there is nobody on this planet that gets you, and that nobody will even take the time to listen to you anyway. They'll just placate you "oh, don't worry about it, it's gonna be fine...", or they'll offer solutions "it's not a big deal -- how about you just...", or they'll just talk about themselves, "this reminds me of the time I..."
Does this story sound familiar? If so, do you see the massive mistake that you're making? Can you guess why it's important to recognize that isolating yourself is at a time like this is the completely wrong thing to do?
I'm far from perfect, so I still fall into this behavior myself. But about a decade ago I started to reset my thinking about this whole scenario, and today I'm getting so much better at shifting this behavior.
"All things are subject to interpretation; whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."~ Friedrich Nietzsche
First of all I came to discover that everything that is going through my mind when I am in this state is just judgement; just pure imagination; perhaps just F.alse E.vidence A.ppearing R.eal. And when I fall into the trap of self-hating and judging, I completely lose the ability to see myself as I truly am. I am no longer present to reality. My stories, interpretations and judgements about myself take over. I see myself as a loser or failure or asshole. I can't help but see myself that way. That's the reality that I create in my mind.
I have tried every trick and tool from all kinds of books, classes and counseling to try to escape these self-destructive thinking patterns. But they never solved the problem, because I've found that in such an upset state, I am blinded to the actual reality -- that I am perfectly fine, that there is nothing wrong with me or the world.
I assert that the only way out of this cycle of self-destructive thought is to reach out to a trusted person. Someone who is actually capable of listening. Someone who gives true empathy and compassion "I can see how upset you are... I feel your hurt.", who offers acceptance "I still care about you and want the best for you no matter what you be, do or have..." and who reminds you of who you truly are "This a painful time for you, but you are so great because..."
“Everyone has a purpose in life… a unique gift or special talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.” ~Deepak Chopra
There are a number of options available for you. But the most important quality and skill that you need is somebody who can keep themselves out of the conversation, and completely devote their time and attention to your need to express yourself and heal.
The first and easiest route is to higher a professional -- a Life Coach, a counselor or a psychotherapist. These people are trained listeners, and more importantly, you are paying them to listen to you. That's their job.
The second is to find a spiritual leader -- either at your church or other non-denominational spiritual organization. Many pastors and spiritual leaders have as much training and/or experience as a professional psychotherapist.
The third is to use some form of healing group -- best to consult with your local mental health organization or church about this.
The fourth is to use some kind of online or social-media based groups -- use people who are independent of you and with whom you can establish some ground rules such as: just listen to me, don't give me solutions.
The fifth, and I believe the hardest, is to find really, really good friends. I think this is the hardest because the better you know a person, the harder it becomes to be independent and objective. A good friend will see your pain and want to try to take it away from you by solving the problem. But I think we all manage to find really good friends who get the whole concept of listening non-judgmentally.
The last resort, in my humble opinion, is your family or your spouse. They can be there to support you when you really need it, but I would assert that it is almost impossible for them to be independent and objective. You are all too close, and your emotions and judgements will hook them and hurt them, whether you want to or not.
But in the end, no matter what choice you make, isolating yourself is not the solution.
Please don't get me wrong -- everyone has the right to have time to themselves, especially for men. Perhaps journaling or some other form of expression can be very effective for you.
But, at some point, you need to connect with other human beings and let them see you, and let them help you to see who you REALLY are.
From the series:
- Massive Mistakes Professional Women Make that Keep them Feeling Bored at Work and Trapped by the Corporate Cage
- The First Mistake: You don't invest in yourself.
- The Second mistake you're making: you isolate yourself...
- The Third Mistake...
- The Fourth Mistake...
Meaningful Media -- Are you a lion or a gazelle? Does it matter?
This is one of my favorite quotes:
I just finished reading "There is Nothing Wrong With You". In the book, the idea of being present is explored. What does being 'present' mean? To me it means being here, now, sitting with whatever is going on in your personal universe. What do you see NOW? What do you feel NOW? What do you hear NOW?
This is in contrast to what we usually do in our minds -- we often reside in our imaginations, thinking about the past and how we SHOULD have acted, or thinking about what we need to DO next in order to change ourselves or our world to conform to how it SHOULD be.
The book explores the concept that as children, we are educated to believe that that there is something wrong with us. For example, if we laugh like a hyena at something ridiculous, maybe our parents told us to stop being silly. Or perhaps we cried when we fell, and our siblings told us to stop being a baby. Whatever happens in our past, it leaves many people questioning themselves and their own worth.
We find that perhaps we are a gazelle at heart, but the world tells us we 'have to' be strong and fight like the lion. Or perhaps we are a lion, and the world tells us that we must be meek and unobtrusive like a sheep or a gazelle.
Either way, we are often told (directly or indirectly) that who we are is wrong.
But the point of the book and in my own personal discovery is: does any of it matter? You are who you are. I am who I am. That will never change.
“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a lion or gazelle - when the sun comes up, you’d better be running.”
I just finished reading "There is Nothing Wrong With You". In the book, the idea of being present is explored. What does being 'present' mean? To me it means being here, now, sitting with whatever is going on in your personal universe. What do you see NOW? What do you feel NOW? What do you hear NOW?
This is in contrast to what we usually do in our minds -- we often reside in our imaginations, thinking about the past and how we SHOULD have acted, or thinking about what we need to DO next in order to change ourselves or our world to conform to how it SHOULD be.
The book explores the concept that as children, we are educated to believe that that there is something wrong with us. For example, if we laugh like a hyena at something ridiculous, maybe our parents told us to stop being silly. Or perhaps we cried when we fell, and our siblings told us to stop being a baby. Whatever happens in our past, it leaves many people questioning themselves and their own worth.
We find that perhaps we are a gazelle at heart, but the world tells us we 'have to' be strong and fight like the lion. Or perhaps we are a lion, and the world tells us that we must be meek and unobtrusive like a sheep or a gazelle.
Either way, we are often told (directly or indirectly) that who we are is wrong.
But the point of the book and in my own personal discovery is: does any of it matter? You are who you are. I am who I am. That will never change.
Wow, my brain is freakin' lit up after today's Vision Board Session
Do you have an outrageous goal?
Do you have an outrageous goal, but you're afraid to speak it? Do you ask, "What if I don't make it?" Brian Tracy says: "So what? It's still better to have a destination than no idea at all."
My friend Matt lent me this audio program The Psychology of Selling, Brian Tracy, and I'm absolutely loving it! Brian Tracy is THE MAN!
My friend Matt lent me this audio program The Psychology of Selling, Brian Tracy, and I'm absolutely loving it! Brian Tracy is THE MAN!
What is the definition of coaching?
Before I began working with a life coach, I had spent many years working with different kinds of psychotherapists. So one of the first questions I had is: what is the definition of coaching?
I've found that the simplest way to explain coaching (vs counseling) is the direction that we look at. Counselors and psychotherapists, from my experience, typically, look to the past to find deeper causes for emotional disturbances and seek to answer the question: Why is my life this way? By contrast, coaches recognize that the past is significant to the individual, but instead turn the client towards the future and seek to answer the question: What can my life be?
The International Coaches Federation distinguishes Coaching from Psychotherapy much more clearly in this way:
I've found that the simplest way to explain coaching (vs counseling) is the direction that we look at. Counselors and psychotherapists, from my experience, typically, look to the past to find deeper causes for emotional disturbances and seek to answer the question: Why is my life this way? By contrast, coaches recognize that the past is significant to the individual, but instead turn the client towards the future and seek to answer the question: What can my life be?
The International Coaches Federation distinguishes Coaching from Psychotherapy much more clearly in this way:
The Nature and Scope of Coaching
Part I: With Respect to Psychotherapy
WHO THE CLIENT IS
The individual coaching client is someone who wants to reach one or more of the following: a higher level of performance, learning, or satisfaction. The client is not seeking emotional healing or relief from psychological pain.
The coaching client can take action to move towards a goal with the support of the coach. The successful client is not excessively limited in the ability to take action or overly hesitant to make this kind of progress.
THE RELATIONSHIP IN COACHING
A coach relates to the client as a partner. A coach does not relate to the client from a position of an expert, authority, or healer. Coach and client together choose the focus, format, and desired outcomes for their work. The client does not relinquish the responsibility for creating and maintaining these nor
does the coach take full responsibility for them.
RESULTS
Coaching is designed to help clients improve their learning and performance, and
enhance their quality of life. Coaching does not focus directly on relieving psychological pain or treating cognitive or emotional disorders.
TIME FRAMES
Coaching concentrates primarily on the present and future. Coaching does not focus on
the past or on the past's impact on the present. Coaching uses information from the client's past to clarify where the client is today. It does not depend on resolution of the past to move the client forward.
EMOTIONS
Coaching assumes the presence of emotional reactions to life events and that clients are capable of expressing and handling their emotions. Coaching is not psychotherapy and emotional healing is not the focus of coaching.
RELATIONSHIP TO PSYCHOTHERAPY
Coaching can be used concurrently with psychotherapeutic work. It is not used as a
substitute for psychotherapeutic work.
ADVICE
Advice, opinions, or suggestions are occasionally offered in coaching. Both parties
understand that the client is free to accept or decline what is offered and takes the
ultimate responsibility for action. The coach is not discouraged from offering advice, opinions or suggestions on occasion.
REQUESTING
A coach makes a request of the client to promote action toward the client's desired
outcome. A coach does not make such requests in order to fix the client's problem or
understand the client's past.
Part II: With Respect to Consulting
Definition: In all of the following statements, the word 'client' is used to denote the person who is being coached, regardless of who is paying for the service.
EXPERTISE
Coaches are experts in the coaching process and may not have specific knowledge of a
given subject area or industry. Where coaches have expertise in other areas, they may use it to facilitate the coaching process. Coaches do not use this particular expertise to diagnose, direct, or design solutions for the client.
RELATIONSHIP
Relationship is the foundation of coaching. The coach and client intentionally develop a relationship which is characterized by a growing and mutual appreciation and respect for each other as individuals. This relationship is not an adjunct to or byproduct of the coaching. Nor is it based on the client's position or performance.
USE OF INFORMATION
In coaching, information drawn from the client is used by the coach to promote the
client's awareness and choice of action. This information is not used to evaluate
performance or produce reports for anyone but the person being coached.
SCOPE
Coaching has the freedom and flexibility to address a wide variety of personal and
professional topics. In any given coaching relationship, coach and client alone determine the scope of their work. Coaching is not necessarily restricted to a narrowly defined issue nor is its scope determined in any other way.
CONTRIBUTION TO RESULTS
In coaching, any contribution the coach makes to producing the client's desired outcome is through on-going interaction with the client. The coach's role does not include producing a contracted product or result outside of the coaching sessions.
ONGOING IMPACT
Coaching is designed to provide clients with a greater capacity to produce results and a greater confidence in their ability to do so. It is intended that clients do not leave coaching with a perception that they need to rely on a coach in order to produce similar results in the future.
Do you like glass art?
The other day I was having a coffee at my favorite coffee shop, and I absolutely fell in love with glass art that I saw there. Sundance Java Bar promotes local artists by allowing them to display their art -- I noticed that this has become quite the common practice these days. And am I ever happy they do!
A number of Cherie Dobbie's glass-work is on display there, and I can't think of anything (besides the great Italian artists) that has ever captured my imagination and creativity as Cherie's work. Truly, I believe her work is inspired by some divine spirit. It is some of the most beautiful work have ever seen.
I felt so inspired to share her work with everyone I know or can reach because I felt this art is something really special.
Have a look at her gallery, and let me know what you think! Or contact Cherie directly at:
A number of Cherie Dobbie's glass-work is on display there, and I can't think of anything (besides the great Italian artists) that has ever captured my imagination and creativity as Cherie's work. Truly, I believe her work is inspired by some divine spirit. It is some of the most beautiful work have ever seen.
I felt so inspired to share her work with everyone I know or can reach because I felt this art is something really special.
Have a look at her gallery, and let me know what you think! Or contact Cherie directly at:
cheriedobbie@telus.net
250-923-6730
How to get your Facebook Status updates on your blog.
Article moved to: http://crpchelp.blogspot.com/2011/07/how-to-get-your-facebook-status-updates.html
It's a pain in the butt to get your own status updates showing up on your blog. Here's how to do it. (Thanks so much to vinx2o2o Drupal and for writing these instructions!)....
Meaningful Media of the Day
I have heard his name for years, but it wasn't until recently that I saw the incredible message he has to share.
I recently purchased Anthony Robbins' Power Talk, an incredible series of audio sessions. In one session Tony interviews Dr. Deepak Chopra.
What Dr. Chopra has to say has had an incredible impact on my perceptions of reality, and as a consequence, my own internal peace.
Here is a video that is similar in content to the Power Talk interview.
Dr. Chopra has all kinds of books, audios and videos out on the market. The best deal I know of at the moment is through Nigthingale-Conant. They are offering this incredible deal:
For only $1, you can try out Magical Mind, Magical Body by Dr. Deepak Chopra for 30 days.
If that doesn't appeal, check out any of the materials Dr. Chopra has, including this bestseller:
Or if you're at all interested in learning more about what Debbie Ford has to say, check out this bestseller:
I recently purchased Anthony Robbins' Power Talk, an incredible series of audio sessions. In one session Tony interviews Dr. Deepak Chopra.
What Dr. Chopra has to say has had an incredible impact on my perceptions of reality, and as a consequence, my own internal peace.
Here is a video that is similar in content to the Power Talk interview.
Dr. Chopra has all kinds of books, audios and videos out on the market. The best deal I know of at the moment is through Nigthingale-Conant. They are offering this incredible deal:
For only $1, you can try out Magical Mind, Magical Body by Dr. Deepak Chopra for 30 days.
If that doesn't appeal, check out any of the materials Dr. Chopra has, including this bestseller:
Or if you're at all interested in learning more about what Debbie Ford has to say, check out this bestseller:
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