10 things that help me believe in myself.

One of the neat things I've learned in the past six months is that if you 'put yourself out there', you inevitably get a response.

I first experienced this when I wrote and delivered the speech Can We All Have a 4-hour Work Week.  I had been trying to make the ideas from Tim Ferris' 4 hour work week come to reality, but most of my efforts had been locked in my head... I had thought a lot, but done little.


After I gave the speech, however, a fellow Toastmaster Matt Zinkus approached me and said that he wanted to implement his ideas and wanted work with me to bring our concepts to reality.  And since that first meeting, we have formed a Dream Team, and begun working together to bring our ideas to reality.

More recently, I've experienced this by the writing of the article: What if I don't believe in myself?

I wrote this because I was frustrated with not seeing any progress with my ideas.  And it turns out that this has been the most popular article on my fledgling blog.

I've been thinking, what can I do to help out those of you who are like me, who are struggling to establish that core need: belief in self?  Here are a Ten Things that are helping me right now and may help you as well.

1. Talk with a professional -- either a counselor, therapist, or life coach.
2. Talk with truly supportive friends/family/people -- I mean, the ones that actually listen to what you say, and don't shoot down your ideas, even if they sound 'stupid'.
3. Listen to motivational speakers -- Zig Ziglarand Anthony Robbins are my favorites so far.
4. Read inspirational books -- I love the The One Minute Millionaire: The Enlightened Way to Wealth.
5. Watch inspirational movies -- I like In Pursuit of Happiness; or any video on www.ted.com or www.wimp.com
6. Join a positive, supportive environment such as Toastmasters.
7. Learn to track your successes and acknowledge yourself for your achievements -- as much or more than you would punish yourself for your 'failures'.
8. Set achievable goals.  Sometimes we want great success, so we set huge goals, but they're too big for us at the moment.  The key, I've learned, to succeeding is to build momentum -- you can do this by achieving lots of small goals.
9. Volunteer with an organization that is doing something you are passionate about.  Preferably, do something there that YOU are passionate about vs something that you are good at that but don't really like doing.
10. Spend 1 hour, three times a week, with people you like.

And number 11:  Work on figuring out who you 'be'... who you are.  So often we are in a 'doing' mode -- we try to do a lot of things to get success.  But if you're anything like me, you probably do a lot of things that just don't benefit you that much.  You can do things that benefit you more by understanding who you 'are'.  This is a much more complicated process, and would best be achieved by working with a professional.. a coach or a therapist.  But I'm sure there are plenty of self-help techniques/books you can read to support you on this path too.

Often we overlook our own techniques and methods -- so ask yourself, when you DO believe in yourself, what do you do?  What are you thinking?  What things did you do beforehand?  Do you have any habits that promote your belief in your self?  For example, do you exercise regularly?

Read more about setting goals....
Also consider watching my videos here: Coaching, Counseling, Depression, Anxiety

~Dave Brown, April 24, 2011

John Watson's Perspective on Believing in Self

I've been working on a speech about belief in self.  Author John Watson has some interesting examples to support the idea of 'do it anyway'.

John Watson I don't Believe in Myself and What Can I do about it?

So what do you think of this blog?

I've been working on this blog for a while, especially more recently.

So what's working and what's not?  Do you like it?  Why or why not?

Are there any topics you'd like me to expand or topics you'd like me to discuss?

I sincerely appreciate any input :)

101 Ways To Make Money Online (Choose Your Own Way)

Some really interesting options for making money online.

http://www.minterest.com/101-ways-to-make-money-online-choose-your-own-way/

Offering Perspective -- If a person you know is discouraged, giving them this will help

If a person you know is discouraged, giving them this will help -- nicely put Meredith.

http://www.yourvoiceofencouragement.com/2010/09/offering-perspective-third-step-of.html

Ted Coine on Twitter Follow-Back Policy

This is a really nicely explained follow-back policy for twitter.  Makes a lot of sense.

http://savvycapitalist.blogspot.com/2011/02/my-follow-back-policy.html

Thanks for this Ted.

You are invited to Create More Success!!

Do you want to learn about yourself, understand more about life coaching and other healing therapies, or just want to discover different ways of creating a more positive, successful approach to life?

Consider coming to Quw'utsun' Cultural Center in the Cowichan Valley Saturday April 16, 20111 from 11:00am to 3:00pm.

The Coaching Symposium is presented by:

Tania Gardiner of Integral Connections 

Johanna Vanderpol, Positive Psychology

Valerie Childs, M.Sc. Rec Therapist

For more information, see this pdf of Flier

Map to Quw'utsun' Cultural Center


View Larger Map

Build a Web 2.0 Dating Site in 66.5 Hours

http://mingle2.com/blog/view/how-i-built-mingle2
Interesting article on how to build a winning website from concept to launch.

I'm a member of Campbell River BPWN!

Yes, Business & Professional Women's Network does accept men!

Check out my profile at www.bpwn.org

http://www.bpwn.org/member/dave-brown

Goal Setting, from the Master himself, Zig Ziglar

Step by step process for setting your goals, by Zig Ziglar.

http://www.ziglar.com/newsletter/?tag=goal-setting

Mind Movies

Wow, here's an excellent example and explanation of how visualization works.

http://www.mindmovies.com/mm21/johnassaraf/visualize.php?16092

Critical Coaching Skills

Interesting Article on critical coaching skills. 

http://www.buildingpersonalstrength.com/2011/03/do-you-coach-people-handy-reference-for.html

Tips for Success from a Successful Entrepreneur

Today I had the chance to meet with a local entrepreneur who has had decades of success in launching and operating local businesses. Over lunch she shared a few key elements for success as an entrepreneur.  Our conversation focused on starting businesses, but I believe these elements apply to success in any area of your life.

Commitment
If you want to succeed with your business ideas, you must be committed.  What does this mean?  Larry Miller has an excellent article on commitment, http://www.articlesbase.com/internet-marketing-articles/what-is-commitment-1783017.html but I believe the following quote defines my understanding of commitment:

“There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.”

What are you committed to?  I am committed to improving my life: I am committed to better health, I am committed to having stronger emotional and spiritual well-being, and I am committed to improving my financial situation.

And what makes me "committed" vs "interested"?  I am taking action to have better health, spirit, emotions and finances.

Organization

If you want to succeed, you need to be organized.

So you want to be rich.  Well, how are you going to do that?  What steps are you going to take?  Where are you going to begin?

You want to make a web page.  Well, where is your content - text, photos, movies, graphics?  Where is your html code?  What tools can you use to build your site?

Have you ever felt like there was just too much going on your life and you had no time to get it all done?  My guess is that you just need to take a moment to organize yourself.  Figure out what your priorities are.  Do your First Things First.


Commitment and Organization are a Powerful Combination

In my second year of Engineering I was required to take a calculus class that had a 60% fail rate.  I was absolutely terrified of that class, because I didn't have the time or money to fail it and take it again.

So what did I do?  I got myself organized.

I decided I would spend 1 hour every day doing practice problems from the text book; we were given homework assignments at the end of each chapter -- maybe we had to answer 20 questions.  I would take the time and answer ALL of the questions in the chapter.  I did monthly reviews.  I reviewed my notes beginning two weeks before the major exams.  I review my notes 4 weeks before my final exam.  If there was anything I really didn't understand, I would talk to the professor or a classmate.  I did everything I possibly could to organize myself, my time and my notes in order to succeed in that class.

The result?  Out of a class of 150 people, I was one of only five people to get an A+.  And, I should mention, I was taking five other classes -- a typical course load for students was four or five courses per semester; Engineers had to take six courses as well as apply for work term jobs for the upcoming four months -- and I did well in all of those classes as well and got a good job.

I don't say any of this to brag or pat myself on the back -- I say it to point out that when you are organized AND committed, great things can be achieved.

Write a Business Plan
The final tip was to write out a business plan.  It's probably an obvious step, but how many actually go about doing this before launching into a business?  Here are some FREE business planning tools to get you started.

• http://www.tdcanadatrust.com/smallbusiness/windocs.jsp
• http://cgi.scotiabank.com/planwriter/scotia_sb.html
• http://www.bdc.ca/en/advice_centre/tools/business_plan/pages/default.aspx
• http://www.bplans.com/sample_business_plans.cfm  (this one has templates for each business type)

Enjoy a moment with Nature and you might just learn something...

The winner of the recent Toastmaster International Speech contest, Gary Green, delivered an amazing speech in which he reminded us of the importance of spending time in Nature.  The mere act of communing with Nature magically brings enlightenment.

While pondering my Purpose today, I took a moment today to spend some time in the local forest.

In a very short time a concept filtered to the surface of my brain: everything in the forest has a Purpose.  A tree becomes a tree despite all of the storms, disease, bitter cold and searing heat.  A tree doesn't question its purpose -- it just goes about fulfilling it.

And certainly not all trees are meant to be 100 meter majestic miracles.  Some fall and die.  Yet in their death, they provided sustenance to other forest flora.  Likewise, not all trees can break through the canopy, but instead broaden and shelter the fauna below.  Others are riddled with holes and provide homes for creatures small and great.

A few unfortunates are cut down by mankind, but even in this horrible end, the trees are still useful -- perhaps they will warm a family as they are burnt or become a part of a home.

I could not help but remember that I, as a human, am like any one of the trees in the forest -- despite the adversity that I face, I will still be the tree I am meant to be... whether I crash and fall and nourish my fellow humans or sore into the sky and inspire others who follow me, I still have Purpose.

Just Being is a Purpose in and of itself.

What if I don't believe in myself?

What do you do when you don't believe in yourself?  What if all of your plans and dreams are failing to come to fruition because you don't believe you can succeed?

Your 'self' is at the core of your body, spirit and mind.  Picture it at the center of your body, and imagine it as a building's foundation.  Can you imagine what would happen to yourself if the foundation is not made of anything strong?  Rather than being rebar reinforced concrete, perhaps it is loosely packed sand.  What happens when you try to stretch, reach to some goal and that packed sand starts to crumple?  When your internal supports start to collapse, what happens to your life?

Can you imagine the warping of your mind, body and soul as that foundation begins to shift?  Forget about the pressures of the outside world for a moment, and just witness the bending and distortion of the mind, body, spirit as they begin to settle on the unstable sand bed.  Perhaps a moment of equilibrium is established, but what happens when you begin to move again and the sand begins to shift once more?  How can you ever feel confident that you have a firm base to work from?

This, sadly, is the reality that I have to work from.

My persistent question is, however, how do I turn this shifting sand to a firm, steel platform?

Update April 24, 2011.  I've continued this article at Some things that are helping me believe in myself
 

Brian Tracy shows you how to: control your confidence level by controlling your thoughts ... stop self-defeating behaviors and begin self-confident ones ... see yourself as others see you and easily change their perceptions.