3 Stages of Life, 1 Powerful Insight

STOP!

Before reading one more line take a moment and do two things for me.

1. First, write down something you want to have in your life; let's call this your goal.  
2. Second, brainstorm steps you can take to achieve that goal.

It's your smiles, your tears, your frowns and your fears, it's the light in your eyes that I dearly prize.
Be real my friend, love and live to no end.
Now is your time.
Your life completes this rhyme.

We live in a world where conflict abounds.  Our very right to exist is challenged.  The conflict to be, do and have things that we don't really want.  The ideal form presented is never us.  We are never enough.

And yet here we are, a genuine gift to the world.  There is no other being like us.  Nobody else has ever inhabited this world as we do today.

In the conflict of the world, how do we find our way?  How do we find our voice?  How do we BE?

Consider that in the face of this conflict, people are at one of three stages in their life.

Stage One: Decline

Stage Two: Plateau

Stage Three: Growth


In finding our way through our lives, each stage requires a different approach.  And because we are unique, we are best supported by unique approaches.

And, there are understandings or insights that apply to almost everyone and can be applied by most everyone.  Here is one such insight.

One Powerful Insight

How we perceive ourselves defines what we can do and what we can have.

Does the following idea sound familiar?  If you work hard, you'll get all the things you want, and then you'll be successful.

Did you ever notice that this implies that you are not successful now?  Have you ever contemplated what success actually means?  Does that stuff you're working so hard to get actually result in the success you want?


Consider this example of people in different stages of their life who want to be successful.

In a decline phase of life, people might sees themselves as unsuccessful and even incapable of success.  They want to have something in their life, but no matter what they do, they can't achieve it.

In a plateau phase, people might have already achieved success.  They already have what they said they want; they've already worked hard and now all that is left to do is maintain.  But maybe they don't want to just maintain; maybe they want something new.  But now life is kind of boring.

In a growth phase, people might want to have something more.  They're striving towards something they desire and they are willing to act to get there.  For some of them, though, success can't come fast enough.    They want to achieve bigger, better, faster.

How does self perception affect these people?

In Stage One and Stage Two, people have a view of themselves that will not support them in what they want to achieve.  After all, how can an unsuccessful person ever achieve success?  Unsuccessful people are never successful.  These people will be stuck seeing themselves as unsuccessful and will continually focus energy on changing that reality.

The irony is that the energy they direct towards trying to be successful or lamenting their lack of success is misdirected.  That energy could be spent on actions that would take them to achieving their goals.  Expending energy in this way will eventually stall their progress or even worse will lead them to a dark hole of despair.

In Stage Three, people might view themselves as successful, but not successful enough.  Although not much energy is directed to correcting this lack of success, there is still energy being spent on addressing the perceived inadequacy.

Further, their actions will be limited -- for example, how might an inadequate person approach incredibly successful people to collaborate?  How could and inadequate person take really bold actions?  Or in the extreme, how can the inadequate person ever stop working when there is always some tiny detail to take care of?

How can changing self perception change results?

In all three stages, a shift in a person's perception of themselves could fundamentally change what they are able to achieve, and even more profoundly affect the experience of that achievement.

Imagine pursuing your dreams while being completely adequate.  You don't have to do anything -- you're not trying to correct a deficiency, you're only acting to bring what it is you have to the world.

Whatever perception a person has of themselves, it's worth taking the time to examine whether or not that perception is aligned with what they want to have in their life.  Otherwise, needless energy will be spent on fruitless actions.

Action!

Insight without Action results in no change.  So try this yourself!

1. Once again, decide what it is you want to have.  
2. Second, re-read the poem above, and see yourself as a gift to this universe.  Imagine that wherever you are, the people around you need YOU, the unique and perfect you.  Regardless of what you do, they need you there.  They need your skills, your gifts, just you!  
3. Third, brainstorm actions you can take to achieve that goal.  

Is there a difference?  If that doesn't provide a clear enough example for you, try this the next time you go to a restaurant or cafe.

1.     Imagine you are a recruiter.  Look around the room.  What do you notice?
2.     Next, imagine you are an interior designer.  Look around the room.  What do you notice?
3.     Third, imagine you are a THIEF!  Look around the room.  What do you notice?

How you perceive yourself completely changes what you're capable of achieving.

Can you help me help others?

Do you feel like you were meant for something more?  I'm in this world to support and enable the men and women in this world that feel like they're meant for something more.

Do you know someone like this? Help them take a step forward by sending them to www.bestcoaching.ca.

I create safe, individually-tailored, and dynamic relationships that keep my clients moving towards their dreams.  Come take a step with me towards having exactly what you want.